In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize