Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
