Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize