Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So how was he last night?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Five-minute foot-long.

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(508): So how was he last night? (617): Five-minute foot-long. http://tfl.nu/89p0

Replies (29) Good night (895) Bad night (1542)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(720): I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit. http://tfl.nu/09qd

Replies (19) Good night (680) Bad night (3825)
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(561): View more from Florida

if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

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(561): if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat http://tfl.nu/bqtg

Replies (40) Good night (5694) Bad night (1291)
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(513): View more from Ohio

the room spins SO much faster in panama

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(513): the room spins SO much faster in panama http://tfl.nu/zlx7

Replies (5) Good night (2562) Bad night (995)
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(513): View more from Ohio

All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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(513): All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing http://tfl.nu/d7sz

Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (1236)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk

Replies (7) Good night (1909) Bad night (757)
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(817): View more from Texas

Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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(817): Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence. http://tfl.nu/yx0o

Replies (4) Good night (2134) Bad night (582)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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(231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw

Replies (2) Good night (1338) Bad night (1005)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned

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(519): You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned http://tfl.nu/faec

Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (489)
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(516): View more from New York

On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

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(516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu

Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (417)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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(614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur

Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (356)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.

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(303): I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety. http://tfl.nu/yo47

Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (384)
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(315): View more from New York

Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.

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(315): Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab. http://tfl.nu/ewvt

Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (341)
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(310): View more from California

If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen

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(310): If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen http://tfl.nu/sl3q

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (206)
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(850): View more from Florida

Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.

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(850): Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell. http://tfl.nu/anpj

Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (238)

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