Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger