We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
