Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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  (512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37
  Replies (20) Good night (898) Bad night (2468)
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  (646): View more from New York

  There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  Your pregnant arnt you

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  (646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil. (1-646): Your pregnant arnt you http://tfl.nu/t59m
  Replies (21) Good night (1817) Bad night (5528)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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  (724): Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part. http://tfl.nu/1dsi
  Replies (28) Good night (8233) Bad night (1451)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2383) Bad night (1511)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I saved lives by not driving this morning

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  (904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s
  Replies (9) Good night (8149) Bad night (1100)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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  (732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13
  Replies (8) Good night (2680) Bad night (703)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (642)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.

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  (781): He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent. http://tfl.nu/jtvv
  Replies (4) Good night (2115) Bad night (512)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You left wolverine marks

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm somewhere between sorry and proud

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  (910): You left wolverine marks (1-910): I'm somewhere between sorry and proud http://tfl.nu/d8w1
  Replies (2) Good night (1659) Bad night (564)
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  (619): View more from California

  Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?

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  (619): Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit? http://tfl.nu/j01e
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (398)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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  (310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (513)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Welcome to Bellingham.

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  (360): Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open. (360): Welcome to Bellingham. http://tfl.nu/j634
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (371)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Is 1:30 too early for the bar?

  (718): View more from New York

  Do you want my opinion or society's?

  (646): View more from New York

  I want your company

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  (646): Is 1:30 too early for the bar? (718): Do you want my opinion or society's? (646): I want your company http://tfl.nu/br9a
  Replies (4) Good night (1645) Bad night (461)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?

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  (302): Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree? http://tfl.nu/mxrm
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (170)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito

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  (330): I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool (217): Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito http://tfl.nu/fbuc
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (141)

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