Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.