I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize