all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
