All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
