Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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