Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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