maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
