She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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