This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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