xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
