i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
