I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
