Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
