YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
time to smoke my breakfast
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
