Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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