do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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