I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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