Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I understand Curling. That high.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
