i think my mom watched the whole time
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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