I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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