i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
