Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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