It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
being pregnant is like rehab
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
