I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize