just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
