we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
