I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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