Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
