he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
