I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
