We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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