quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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