I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize