Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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