it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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