I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We're too hungover to prance.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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