Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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