i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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