I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
