ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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