awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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