I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
