did you get engaged???
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
17 year olds will be the death of me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
