Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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