just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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