You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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