This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
