38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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