would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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