We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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