he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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