he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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