thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
