We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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