you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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