Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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