He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
