my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So squirting runs in the family.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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