I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
